


intertwined

by artsyleo



Series: comfortember 2020 [5]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Legal Drama, M/M, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Doubt, Tumblr Prompt, again its so fucking vague cus im lazy lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-05
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:34:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,431
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27408904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: comfortember prompt day 5 - cuddlingpart 2 of yesterday's (day 4) prompt
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: comfortember 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1995826
Comments: 4
Kudos: 56





	intertwined

**Author's Note:**

> tw for like a lot of self blame/hate on callum's part

When Ben pushes open the door to the Mitchell house, it’s eerily quiet. He’s gotten used to it constantly being filled with activity, especially since his implant, and his hearing coming back to him slowly. The noise is usually comforting, as it was when they were in lockdown- Lexi had been a beacon of optimism for all of them, especially Ben, and made the days without Callum more bearable. It’s been utterly perfect since, too, now that Callum’s here too, and they get to spend more time together in domesticity- as a family, and isn’t  _ that  _ a thought. 

Now though, he’s somewhat thankful for the quiet, for Callum’s sake more than his own. 

The trial had been  _ awful _ \- not in the way it ended, of course, but just in the way that it happened. As soon as they’d got him on the stand, Thompson’s defence had laid into him, arguing that Callum should’ve been the one on the stand. He’d seen it in his boyfriend’s eyes, the way that there was still a very real part of him that agreed, but he had stood his ground, answered everything that he could. They’d laid him bare, though, and it had left Ben all but seething in his seat, Lola - who had been dragged along for anger management on Ben’s side more than anything else, though they both knew that she cared just as much about the outcome of the trial itself - having to physically hold him down on more than one occasion. It hadn’t even been the way things had gone- Callum had defended himself beautifully, all strong confidence, but Ben was probably the only one that could really see it. The way that Callum took in every bad word that smarmy defence attorney had spoken about him, and had believed it all. Ben could see it in his eyes, because he  _ knew  _ his boyfriend, better than anyone. He could see the way Callum had flinched at certain things from a mile away, the way he’d started clenching his hands into fists in his lap, and it destroyed him that he couldn’t offer the other man comfort, when he so clearly needed it. 

He’s all too aware of the way Callum hasn’t actually said a word since they left court. He’d collapsed into Ben’s arms as soon as they could see each other again, and Ben had just held him to his chest, whispering gentle words in his ear-

_ You did so well. _

_ I’m so proud of you.  _

_ I love you.  _

He’d ignored the way that Callum’s eyes were red when he pulled away, knowing it wouldn’t do any good to bring it up now. Lola had offered him a hug after, too, and Ben suspected she’d said something similar to him. 

It’s just the two of them now, after Lola had said she’d bring Lexi round a little later, which was probably a better plan. Callum looks downright exhausted more than anything, and Ben doesn’t exactly blame him. As soon as the door’s locked, he’s back at his side, hands on his arms like he can’t bear to be away from him a second later. It’s true, and he can’t be bothered to hide it, not when he knows that Callum’s hurting. By the way he shoves his head into Ben’s neck and takes a deep breath in, he’s the same. 

“You want a shower?” Ben says quietly, a hand coming up to glide through Callum’s hair. 

“Later,” he replies, and his voice is quiet, muffled against the skin of Ben’s neck. 

“That’s alright,” Ben replies. “How about we get you into bed, yeah? Lexi could come over later if you like, we can have a takeaway with her. Only if you’re up for it though.”

Callum just nods, like he doesn’t have the willpower to speak any more.

“You want a drink or anything first?” 

He feels the way Callum mutters something against his neck, but doesn’t hear more than air. 

“Didn’t catch that,” he says, tapping gently at Callum’s shoulder. 

Reluctantly, as if he can’t bear to not be curled against Ben any more, he stands back up again, and signs the words instead. 

_ Hot chocolate, please, _ he signs. 

Ben smiles, just a little, despite anything. It’s one of those odd things that he loves about Callum- he’ll drink tea and coffee now, which is apparently more than he used to, but Ben knows he doesn’t actually enjoy them, preferring hot chocolate any day. It’s so perfectly  _ him _ that somehow Ben’s falling that little bit more in love. 

“Okay, why don’t you head upstairs, and I’ll bring it up to you,” Ben says eventually, squeezing where his hands are still connected to Callum’s head. “And take that suit off while you’re at it.”   


It’s not that he doesn’t like the look of Callum in a suit- far from it. He’s sure that most of Walford knows by now just how much he appreciated Callum’s undertaker suit back in the day, but that feels like decades ago, and this is different. The sight of Callum dressed in his suit now makes him feel slightly sick, mostly with anger, bringing back everything that had happened in the courtroom. He wants to burn those memories from his mind as soon as he can, and he’s sure that Callum wants the same. He nods, and pulls away from Ben, turning towards the hall. Ben moves to the counter and flicks the kettle on, taking two mugs out of the cupboard and filling one up with hot chocolate powder and the other with coffee grounds. It’s not even a minute after Callum’s supposed to have gone upstairs that he feels familiar arms curling around his waist. Callum doesn’t say anything, doesn’t try to explain why he can’t bear to be that far away from Ben but he doesn’t have to. Ben doesn’t laugh at him, or try to force him to explain. He just lets it happen, and leans back into the feeling of Callum behind him while the kettle boils. 

-

Neither of them are completely content until they’re dressed in soft clothes, tangled up together on top of their bedsheets in such a way that they’re indistinguishable from each other, but that’s the way that they both need it right now. Ben knows he needs the reassurance almost as much as Callum does. Their faces end up mere inches apart, eyes staring deep into each other, and it’s as if Ben can see every emotion play through Callum’s. It’s quiet, until Calum suddenly speaks, his eyes shifting away from Ben’s. 

“The attorney was right, wasn’t he? I should be going down for this,” he says, and the only reason Ben catches it all is because they’re facing each other, his voice is that quiet. It breaks his heart, the way he’s so restrained and unsure of himself right now, and he feels somewhat hopeless. 

“No, Cal, no,” Ben replies. “You were  _ blackmailed _ , Callum, that’s not your fault. Like Richie said, you’ll likely only get a caution.”

“Fuck, what have I done,” he sighs, and a hand comes up to rub over his face. His face changes, and his voice is painfully bitter. “My dad would be proud.” 

The tone of Callum’s voice sends a shiver down his spine, because there’s just so much  _ shame  _ in it, so much anger at himself that he’s almost scared for the man next to him. 

“Callum, listen to me, please,” Ben says, and after a minute Callum turns back to look at him, though their eyes don’t meet again. “You are  _ not _ your dad, and neither are you a criminal. You’re a good person, you’re strong, and you’re kind, and you’re loving and none of that has changed. You  _ are  _ going to get through this, okay? And I’m not going anywhere.” 

When Callum catches his eyes again, there are tears in them. 

“What have I done to deserve you?” he says, but Ben knows there’s so much more than just that, can see it in his face. 

“I’m sure I’ve said the same to you, once upon a time,” Ben says, and when it makes even the smallest smile come onto Callum’s face, it’s a success. “You want a cuddle?” 

That forces a little laugh out of him too, and he just nods, shifting across the bed and back into Ben’s arms. 

“Hey,” Ben whispers as an afterthought, once Callum’s already holding on tight to him. “It’s okay if you want to cry, you know?”

Callum nods against his neck, and that’s where he falls asleep, eventually. 

**Author's Note:**

> okay so i got a little carried away with this one lmao.   
> also any legal knowledge i have is from a combination of 2.5 episodes of how to get away with murder and literally what's been on eastenders before so like this was probably rather unrealistic but like ignore that pls eheh, hope you did enjoy, and comments and kudos mean the world to me!! stay safe, n lots of love   
> leo x (tumblr is artsy-highway)


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